In the Gates
Remember that one of the first characteristics mentioned about the Proverbs 31 woman is that she has a strong marriage. The marriage relationship is important because it is the foundation of the family. Let’s look at Proverbs 31:23 New American Standard Bible (italics mine):
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
In Biblical times, the city gates were seats of authority where public business was transacted, the courts judged cases, and matters of state were decided. The fact that this statement is included in the description of the Proverbs 31 woman, implies that she has something to do with her husband sitting “in the gates”. So what could we do to enhance our husband’s reputation and help him sit “in the gates”? Yup-that’s right-there it is again-it’s about what we SAY about our husbands. Speak well of him to others. Applaud his good character to others. Show grace in how you speak about him to others. Honor and respect him when you speak about him to your children. But the husband is not the only one IN THE GATES. Let’s look at Proverbs 31:28-31 NASB (italics mine again):
Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying, ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
So first of all, moms, don’t get your hopes up too much. It is not likely that your children are going to bless you for doing their laundry or cleaning the house. And they may not think to rise up and bless you when they are young. But when they are older, they will come back to bless you. Our five children, who are young adults now, have all come back to bless us. And husbands bless us each in their own way-so listen to your husband’s love language and what his heart is saying to you. My husband blesses me by making time with me a priority, since quality time is my love language.
While her works do praise her “in the gates”, let’s also note that those who know her best also praise her-those who see her with her hair down, no make-up, just out of the shower, tired, under stress-yes, her family… they praise her. It’s not as important what people who don’t know her think of her; it’s more important what those who know her the best and see her at her worst think of her.
Charm and beauty, well we all know how long those last. Not long. But fearing God-now, that will last you THROUGH ETERNITY. And all that hard work that you’ve done with your hands? The product of your hands will speak for you and bring you praise in the places that matter-IN YOUR FAMILY AND IN THE GATES.
So what does it mean to have the FEAR OF THE LORD? “Fear” H3374 is “Yirah” in Hebrew H3374 and means “fear (of God), respect, reverence, piety.” A quote by Jerry Bridges explains this very well:
The person who fears God seeks to live all of life to the glory of God… All the activities of life should be pursued with the aim of glorifying God.
So as we make it our aim to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, as we work with our hands, as we speak words of kindness, as we love our families by serving them, as we see ourselves rightly as DAUGHTERS OF THE KING OF KINGS, we are doing it all because of our REVERANCE for Him. We are working for HIS PLEASURE and HIS REWARD. We know that He is Jehovah El Roi the GOD WHO SEES (Genesis 16:13) and that GOD HIMSELF SEES ALL OUR WORK FOR HIM-every diaper changed, sleepless night feeding the baby, mess cleaned up, meal prepared, work and life balanced, every moment of OUR OWN LIFE LAID DOWN for our family-and He Himself will bless us.
Now, let’s go back to the beginning of PROVERBS 31. Do you remember that this woman is worth MORE THAN RUBIES? Rubies are RED and the BLOOD OF JESUS is RED; this reminds us that we cannot be godly moms and wives on our own; WE NEED HIS SACRIFICE, HIS REDEMPTION, HIS GRACE, HIS VICTORY!
Ladies, being a wife and mother and virtuous woman is hard! So please let’s never forget when we read Proverbs 31 that
WE CAN ONLY BE A VIRTUOUS WOMAN WITH THE HELP OF JESUS!
In His Love,
Suzanne
Mom Morsels 